


Wish Fulfillment

by jacobisexual



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, M/M, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 14:57:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacobisexual/pseuds/jacobisexual
Summary: Jacobi had stolen a kiss once, just to see what it felt like.





	Wish Fulfillment

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic awhile ago, and I finally felt like finishing it. 
> 
> TW for a non-consensual kiss(one person asleep) and an unhealthy relationship dynamic.

Jacobi had stolen a kiss once, just to see what it felt like.

Kepler had been asleep, resting after a long day's work. Jacobi should've been asleep too. He should've been a lot of things that he wasn't. He should've been asleep, should've been stronger, should've been more resilient. Kepler was always saying that, that he wasn't resilient enough. That he couldn't go with the flow, couldn't pull a punch when he needed to. Jacobi didn't know why he fucking liked him. Jacobi didn't know why he fucking kissed him.

He didn't do it out of lust-at least, not out of lust for the traditional things. Kepler wasn't hot. He wasn’t like the guys Jacobi had so easily crawled into bed with in college. His features were sharp, jagged even; they all felt mismatched. Like what a sketch artist would do if given a description of a person, instead of looking at the real thing. No, Kepler had something beyond looks as his lure. Kepler was a mystery. Jacobi wanted-no, needed to decipher him. This was love or something like it.

So while Kepler lay there, half-perched half-sprawled across Jacobi’s couch in a rare moment of exhaustion, in a rare moment of weakness, Jacobi had leaned down. He had tilted Kepler’s chin up, brushed a calloused thumb over his cheek. He did this the way he’d go about defusing a bomb: carefully, one wrong move, boom.

It kept him awake at night, that kiss. Wondering why Kepler tasted the way he did. Like fire and Balvenie. Wondering if that stupidly expensive whiskey had simply become a part of him, like his bottomless pit pauses between words, like his centuries long stories, like his labyrinthine lies. Wondering, wondering, wondering. Wondering if Kepler had ever wanted to kiss him. Not that he would ever get to know something like that. Kepler wasn't the type of man to let such a base desire get in the way of his orders.

Fuck, his orders. Jacobi didn't know how he'd manage to slide a knife between the cogs of their stable system, but he'd done it. One simple action, and he'd managed to ruin it. Things had been different between them since then. Kepler’s every glance felt like an observation, every order an interrogation, every touch, a temptation. Their humble illusion of teamwork was gone. Jacobi didn’t know why.

And yes, of course he knew that kissing the unconscious man had been a violation, but he wasn't sure if there were even rules to violate when he was with Kepler, and for a second he had felt so powerful. He never felt that way when Kepler was awake.

So Jacobi had kissed him, quick then slow.

Kepler was lawlessness and order at the same time. He played a game that only he understood the rules to and Jacobi was always left behind, trying desperately to pick up the pieces. But kissing Kepler wasn't just flames and liquor, it was more than that, it was salt and blood, mercury and venom, and for a few seconds, it had all been his. The power to destroy a world.

For a few seconds, he had understood; he could see the big picture in his mind's eye, feel the future in Kepler's lips. There was something there. It was a terrible mistake. He thought it might've been worth it.

He wondered if it had only been a dream. A pathetic fantasy of a feverishly concocted kiss. A little wish fulfillment. But no, he knew, as much as he knew anything, he had done it.

That didn't mean he could understand what it meant.

Kepler’s honey coated lips, all the lies pressed away by Jacobi’s own mouth, in a moment of pure silence. Kepler didn’t move. Jacobi pulled away. The world returned to its natural state. Jacobi didn't.

Now Jacobi was desperately trying to move on, to pull the knife out of the cogs, cleanse the fire burning in his brain. Jacobi, wild animal he was, learned to adapt. He thought he was doing a fair job. “No Sirs” and “Yes Sirs” blurred his blind love into obedience. Kepler never faltered. Jacobi wanted to let it go.

But he could have sworn he had seen Kepler’s eyes open. Just for a second.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Jeez, I missed me some unrequited Kepcobi love. Feel free to hit me up on my tumblr(mthedm) if you liked this and want to send me a one shot request! It doesn't have to necessarily be Wolf 359, I'll write a one shot for any pairing/idea I feel like I can do well!


End file.
